Easter realization

Today I realized something…
So what stemmed this thought? Today at church a new friend came over and gave me a hug after the service. It was a glorious service today. Anyway, it wasn't just a hug. It felt different. It sparked something inside of me that made me realize something. I finally realized that something I've been looking for my whole life, something I've been praying for, I will never have on this earth. What I mean is I’ll never know what it feels like to have an earthly father’s love for his son. This may seem bad to you but it’s a great breakthrough for me. It means I’m letting go of things that are holding me back. I’ve struggled my whole life of 35 years with wondering what it felt like to have a father’s love for his son. Even as being a father now, I’ve made my mistakes. From the outside looking in, most people would probably say I haven’t been a good father. Especially to my son. What I’ve learned over the past few months is I’m not a bad father. I’m a father who didn’t have a father to model that example so I’m having to figure things out the hard way. By making mistakes and failing a lot.
I’m sure you are thinking, where is the breakthrough right! The breakthrough is that by letting go of the thought and trying to find the feeling of what a father’s love should feel like, I can focus my time and energy on accepting the love of God as my father filling the hole in my heart and let that joy and love overflow from my heart into my own family. I can let the Godly men I have become friends with be the example of being a loving father.
This thought then got me thinking what is going to happen with my kids and their kids. The absence of a father at one generation before the developing of the foundation can take place will ripple across multiple generations before the males in the family genealogy becomes aligned with children who've had a stable father the whole time. Sometimes a grandparent or someone else can step in and take on the role shortening the generations ripple affect but it all takes time. Something we all have a limited amount of.

Are you really living life to the fullest?

If tomorrow you were given 30 days to live, what would you stop doing and what would you start doing?

What would you give up or stop doing?

Maybe you would give up going to work or maybe say goodbye to that Netflix marathon you've been watching for 2 weeks, or maybe exercising, or healthy eating. Who needs to exercise and eat healthy when you are dying, right!

What would you start doing?

Maybe you would start going to church, maybe read the bible (You know you want to start studying for the big test coming up in heaven), maybe call a few friends just to hear their voice again, or maybe do a little traveling. Have one last family reunion? Maybe start a journal for your kids to read later or write a book to your kids for when you are gone.

So I ask you these 2 questions for a reason. What’s the difference in giving these things up when you know you are going to die but yet you’ll do them today without any regard for your life. You spend today thinking there will be a tomorrow, or there will be a next month or a next year. What you aren’t doing is living life to the fullest. If you had 30 days to live would you sit down and watch the whole Grey’s Anatomy series? I already calculated it. The whole series comes out to 18 continuous days of watching TV. I highly doubt you would sit down and watch a whole Netflix series knowing you were going to die soon. So why would you do that when you think you are going to live many more years? Is your life some how less valuable when you think you are going to die in the far out future versus the near future? Now obviously you can’t just quit work without a good reason because you still have bills and people to support but maybe you will think of work as just a resource to do life.

Now let’s talk about those things you would start doing. What’s stopping you today from doing those things now? Probably money. Maybe vacation time or other commitments. What is your plan to start doing those things? If those things are so precious that you would spend the last days of your life doing them, why aren't you doing them now? I suggest you make a plan every year to do one or two of those things you would do in your last days that you aren't doing and then plan the rest of your year around them. If those things are that precious then everything should come after them. Including work! Your job should supplement your life and not consume your life.

These aren't lessons I just one day realized. These are lessons that have taken many years to learn and refine. Something that has also taken me a long time to learn is that time is truly your most precious asset in life. Ask yourself, what would you give up today if you were going to die in 30 days?

Happiness in yourself

Here's a little knowledge tip in life. You are responsible for your own happiness in life. It's nobody else's job on this planet to make you happy in life. Not your friend's, not your family's, not your spouse or significant other, or your kids job. Only you can define if you are happy in life and only you can control if you are happy. If you are blaming someone else or some event or something for making you unhappy, it's your fault that you let them or it steal your happiness. Happiness comes from inside.

This is a message I originally posted on my Facebook timeline September 9, 2014.

The first time God spoke to me

It was a Sunday morning before church and my wife and I had just had a little argument about having money for this weeks tithes. My wife either doesn't understand how much this means to me or I haven't communicated it well enough but this week she told me she had spent the money on something else. As we are walking to the church we have some words back and forth and then I ask her if she locked the truck. She said "No".  We said a couple words about who was going to go back and I proceeded back to lock the truck. I bit my tongue and held my words in that I wanted to say since I'm trying to be a better husband. Low and behold, did I know that walk back to the truck would be life changing. As I'm walking and grumbling unloving words in my head about my wife, I hear the words "unconditional". It wasn't like someone whispered the word unconditional. It was if everything around me was gone and it was just God and I. I knew right away what he meant. I wanted to drop to my knees and start crying. What the lord meant was "Love your wife unconditionally". She is a good hearted woman and for that you need to love her even if you are mad about why or how she did something. He was right. I wasn't loving my wife unconditionally.

Keep in mind that I've never had this open line of communication with God like this. It was almost scary at first but he knew what to say that would put me back on track. You never know how or when God will speak to you.

Originally written in February 2014.

Church today is just a trailer

Do you ever feel like the church sermon on Sunday is just a trailer or a 15 minute advertisement for Sunday school? I remember back when I was a kid growing up I usually went to two different churches. One was Calvary Advent Christian Church pastored by Jim Lee and the other was a small church in Hudson, North Carolina that I don’t remember the name of.

I remember going to this smaller church with Donna and her son Bryson who was my best friend. I remember there were times when this preacher would get into the Holy Spirit and the words would start flowing. He’d make an announcement that it’s about 12 PM that if you had somewhere to be that you could leave but he was going to keep on preaching. And he would. Sometimes we wouldn’t get out of church till 1 o’clock. I hated it as a kid but these were some of the best memories I had of church. You truly got the meaning because you could see their sermons were from the heart and off the cuff. They may have started from a script of notes but they didn’t end that way. These are the sermons I like.

Another time when I was at Calvary Advent Christian Church I remember Jim Lee voicing his aggravation about all the announcements and other stuff that was taking away from his preaching time. I remember Jim didn’t always stop at 12 PM like most churches. Sometimes he stopped at 12:15 or 12:30 if the message really needed it and you could always hear a few people grumble. I commend him for this because these were the messages I got the most out of. Sermons shouldn’t have a time limit.

Why don’t preachers today run over time? I feel like churches today have to be done by a specific time or else. I’ve heard preachers say before “I know I have 20 minutes but I shoot for 15 minutes so I don’t make anyone mad if I run over”. I feel like when preachers are just preaching to meet a specific time slot they aren’t actually preaching and just reciting an essay. It feels like I’m listening to the trailer of a sermon and if you want the full message you must go to Bible study class. Preachers should preach about a message from the heart and not just some Bible notes they threw down. I can usually tell when a preacher is preaching from the heart and the message has less value when they aren’t. I hate it when a preacher gets into a message, looks up and they have 5 minutes left and give you the short version of the rest of the sermon so they make their time slot. I’m pretty sure God didn’t say church had to start and stop at a specific time. So why don’t preachers of today’s time preach like preachers of the 80’s and 90’s? I’m a long version kind of guy when it comes to sermons. I love to sit back and hear a good 1 hour sermon. I beam from ear to ear because I know this is the good stuff. I’m about to get a life changing message hear. Call me old fashioned but this is me.

Revolution Recap

WOW! Where do we go from here? If you didn’t go then I can’t explain the feeling you have. It’s just indescribable. The Bethany Youth always amaze me in the love they have for Christ. This past weekend I had the opportunity to go to Revolution 2015 in Columbia, South Carolina. What did I take away from this trip?

The week leading up to Revolution was complete chaos for me. This week was grocery week and we are preparing for a big software release at work. Along with all my other commitments, there never seemed to be enough time in the day for sleep. I knew going into Friday was going to be rough and I prayed I could just stay awake for these youth on Friday. The drive up to Columbia was short and I think the anticipation kept me awake the whole time. We arrived at the Township Auditorium about 7 PM on Friday night. I was in complete “WOW” of everything. The music, the venue, the staff. Everything was awesome and far exceed any expectations I previously had about the event. As the music played and the kids danced I realized at one point that I no longer need alcohol to have fun in a setting like this. I’m a shy person in public but I’m slowly working on fixing that. This has never been something I liked about myself. I also realized that as adults, if we just have fun and embrace the moment we are all teenagers on the inside, just with more responsibilities. We capped the night off by taking everyone to Krispy Kreme donuts at 10:30 at night.

Saturday was another fun filled day. I remember one of the best parts of my morning was waking up and scanning through Twitter and Instagram for the hash tag #RevSC. It was a heart warming moment to see the comments the kids at the event were posting. We started the morning off by volunteering at a Agape Senior center for a couple hours. The kids worked hard and got to hang out with the Seniors at the center. It was a heart warming moment. I was also appreciative that I was given the opportunity to take 13 youth to the center with another adult. We met for lunch at a local church for pizza. Here I got to sit down and just get to talk with a few youth. I always value the time I have just to sit down and connect with what it going on in their lives. After lunch we headed off to the Township Auditorium for a few more sessions of the day. The last session of the day was the session I remembered the most. I got to see over 20 youth kids from Bethany go down front and be moved by the Holy Spirit. The best part of the trip was after the last session Will had the 20 or so kids meet in his room to talk to these kids and I was invited. I really got to know how they felt and to share some information of my journey with Christ with them. About 2 AM all the youth left to go back to their rooms and I got to do some brainstorming with Will for about an hour. It’s always good when you get some one-on-one time with someone you look up to. We both have very busy lives and never really get time to sit down and just talk very often.

Sunday we packed up from the hotel and drove to the Township Auditorium for the last session of the event. Royal Tailor, DJ Frank Clark, and Big Redd blew the roof off the place again for a third day. We had another great session by Jonathon McKee and then it was over. We stopped somewhere on the edge of Columbia to get lunch before we headed home. I had talked to Will prior to leaving the auditorium that I wanted to talk to the youth one last time before we got back to Summerville since Will wasn’t coming back with us. This was my first opportunity I’ve had to really speak to the kids as a whole. This is something Will usually does so I was a bit nervous and tried to stay to my notes I had taken earlier during the day. I talked to them about keeping Christ in the Center of everything they do and to not let their flame be dimmed by the rest of the world as they go back to their normal lives.

The drive home was rather fun. We jammed out to Royal Tailor music all the way back to Summerville. I got to think about some thoughts as I always do when I’m driving. That’s my thinking time. Here’s something I thought of. A life as a Christian is like the core values of the US Air Force.

• Integrity first
• Service before self
• Excellence in all you do

I could probably preach a 15 minute session on these alone since that are something I’ve pretty much lived my whole life by. I had some other personal thoughts about myself I need to work on changing and I’m slowly making a plan to do those.

I’m surprised how much I was able to stay awake through out the whole weekend. I went 4 days straight of being awake 20 hours a day going wide open and never really got tired. Maybe it was adrenaline. Maybe it was the Holy Spirit. What ever it was, I was surprised that I was able to still do that. One of the best parts was waking up ever morning and scrolling through Twitter and Instagram looking at the posts. I have to say I love being around  and connecting with everyone of these kids. This trip was definitely a confirmation of what God has called me to do and I hope the love and drive I have for youth ministry never dies out.

Matthew 28:19

“Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” ~ Jesus

Define: Prayer Programming

The act of writing some code and then publishing or distributing the application without any testing or verification.